Know the Signs of Suicide and Help Someone Find Support
September is Suicide Prevention Month, but conversations about suicide and mental health are important all year long. Anyone can face a period of deep emotional pain. They may feel hopeless, trapped, alone, or unsure where to turn.
If you are struggling, you do not have to wait until things get worse to ask for help. If you are worried about someone else, you do not need to be a mental health professional to start a conversation. Listening, asking direct questions, and helping someone connect with support can make a difference.
If You Are Struggling
When emotional pain becomes overwhelming, it can be hard to see beyond the present moment. You may feel like nothing will change or that other people would be better off without you. These thoughts are a sign that you need and deserve support.
Start by telling someone you trust. You might say:
- “I am not feeling safe right now.”
- “I have been thinking about suicide.”
- “I am overwhelmed, and I need someone to stay with me.”
- “I need help finding someone to talk to.”
If talking feels too difficult, send a text or show someone what you have written. The most important step is letting another person know what is happening.
You can also:
- Move away from firearms, medications, or anything else you could use to hurt yourself.
- Ask someone to stay with you or go to a safe place where other people are present.
- Contact a counselor, doctor, trusted family member, friend, faith leader, or another supportive person.
- Call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. You can also chat online with a trained crisis counselor.
- Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if you are in immediate danger.
You are not wasting anyone’s time by asking for help. You do not have to solve everything today. Focus on staying safe and taking the next step.
Warning Signs Friends and Family Should Know
Warning signs can look different from person to person. Some people talk openly about how they feel. Others may hide their pain or show changes in their behavior.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, possible warning signs may include:
- Talking or posting about wanting to die
- Saying they feel hopeless, trapped, or like a burden
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or usual activities
- Giving away meaningful belongings
- Saying goodbye in a way that feels final
- Searching for ways to die or gathering medications or weapons
- Using more alcohol or drugs
- Taking unusual or dangerous risks
- Showing extreme changes in mood
- Sleeping much more or much less than usual
- Experiencing increased anger, anxiety, or agitation
- Suddenly appearing calm or relieved after a period of intense distress
Pay close attention when these behaviors are new, are becoming more frequent, or follow a painful event, loss, relationship change, health concern, financial problem, or other major stress.
A single sign does not always mean someone is considering suicide. However, it is better to check in than to stay silent because you are afraid of being wrong.
How to Start the Conversation
If you are concerned about someone, choose a private place and speak calmly. Be clear about what you have noticed.
You might say:
- “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How are you doing?”
- “You said you feel like everyone would be better off without you. Are you thinking about suicide?”
- “I care about you, and I want to understand what you are going through.”
- “You do not have to handle this alone. Can we find help together?”
Asking someone directly if they are thinking about suicide does not put the idea in their mind. It gives them permission to be honest and shows that you are willing to hear the answer.
What to Do If Someone Says Yes
Take every statement about suicide seriously.
The National Institute of Mental Health’s five action steps offer a helpful guide:
Ask directly if the person is thinking about suicide. If they say yes, ask whether they have a plan and access to what they would use. These questions can help you understand how immediate the danger may be.
Listen without judging, arguing, or trying to quickly fix the situation. Do not lecture them or tell them to “look on the bright side.” Let them know you believe them and that their pain matters.
If possible, reduce access to firearms, medications, or other dangerous items. Do not leave the person alone if you believe they are in immediate danger.
Call or text 988 together. You can also help them contact a counselor, doctor, family member, or trusted friend. Offer to make the call, provide transportation, or sit with them during the conversation
Continue checking in after the immediate crisis has passed. A short call or message can remind the person that they are not alone. Support should not end after one conversation.
Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts a secret. Safety comes first, even if the person asks you not to tell anyone
Support Beyond the Immediate Crisis
Crisis care is important, but ongoing support can help people address the pain, stress, trauma, depression, anxiety, or other concerns behind the crisis.
The Up Center provides mental health counseling for children, teens, adults, couples, and families in Hampton Roads. Our clinicians help people work through concerns such as depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, relationship challenges, and major life changes.
The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at The Up Center also provides mental health support for veterans, active-duty service members, and military families. Team members understand the unique pressures that can come with military life, deployment, separation, and transition.
The Up Center is not a replacement for emergency or crisis services. If someone may be in immediate danger, call or text 988, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency room.
You Do Not Have to Have the Perfect Words
Many people stay silent because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing. But a caring and honest conversation can be more helpful than perfect words.
Ask the question. Listen to the answer. Stay present. Help the person connect with support.
If you are the one struggling, please tell someone today. Your pain is real, but it does not have to be faced alone. Help is available, and taking one small step can open the door to safety, care, and hope.
Need immediate support? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. In a life-threatening emergency, call 911.
Looking for ongoing counseling in Hampton Roads? Learn more about mental health services at The Up Center.
